Dam its been a long time since I wrote a blog. Might as well splash a something up here for the times. Things are good, :D

Move

I keep thinking of this like from that movie "Hook" but only part. I keep thinking time to fly time to fight. I am designing this project for school and it seems to clear. And it makes me feel weird. But I have to move fast because that's what the teacher wants. Ohh well time to fly time to fight right.

An end to a guilty pleasure.

So I have not written anything on this blog in a very long time. In fact I can not remember when was the last time. But I was watching the end of the show True Blood and as I was watching I thought to my self..... I started this blog when I first started watching that show. Now a show being a form of entertainment normally would not make me feel so nostalgic but I guess in my mind, this show has become a sort of temporal marker in my more current life. I remember, watching this show as a guilty pleasure. At the time I had gotten my self pretty wound up in religion. There are many thing I remember about my life back then that I utterly regret. I sit here trying to put this all into word, and I can't. Its just flying memories of a time past that seems like memories of a book I read. But the main character was me I know this but I have changed a lot. I would say that the biggest change that I can see in relation to a show ending has to do with why I liked this show so much. That reason being love and fantasy. Before I remember seeing love very differently, much more dire and lasting. Now when I know a failed attempt at love, is a failed attempt I can let it go without much of an emotional eruption at all. In stead of a storm of emotion, storm clouds in the distance that dissipate in the wind. I would not say that the end of this show marks the end of anything in my life, but I love personal time markers in my life I can come visit. I think I will mark this show ending with memories of now so that If I ever decide to watch this show again I can also revisit this time as well.

digital culture betrayer

So I got an Iphone, and I gotta say its pretty cool. But I have this weird cultural divide in me that feels similar to taking a wrong turn when you know the path to a given destination. Its kind of unsettling to say the least. So weird. I feel like I picked up a new digital nationality, and one that I don't really agree with. I am not the type of person who feels that excluding people is ever acceptable. And I feel that brand exclusivity is okay if it is a crafted product, but a mass produced product with faux exclusivity; I don't know makes me feel as if I want to be portrayed as an ignorant uncouth elitist. This is not to be an insult to apple fans at all. I apple makes a good product. This blog is more about the small percentage of people who use apple products, and enjoy outcasting people. I have never wanted to be associated with these types of people. And well even if I am enjoying my Iphone, I can't shake the Idea this association and it irritates me. Oh well I am sure the phone is only the tip of the ice burg something else must be bothering me.

a little of this and a little of that.

So my main computer needed to restart for an update and I have to make a 3D model which is gonna take a bunch of hours and I don't want to get distracted. So I figured while I wait I would write a short blog. :D I am listening to this song I really enjoy called hummingbird by ID3. Such a fun song. but it is also difficult since I pretty much try and maintain and upbeat feel to my life; emphasis is on try. Although its a very entertaining song it is a little depressing. Which is a little intimidating in a way, because lately I have felt as if I was floating. Totally lacking control, its not something I fear but it is a little uncomfortable. So I have been floating through this weird dream state where I remember my dreams way to well and the events in my dreams put my waking emotions into action. In a way I miss the sun. I should just buy some 100 proof sunscreen and get some.

explanation on why I sound crazy lol.

So I was thinking about doing things. I think in my last blog I wrote about things I see in my minds eyes that I visualize to get my self ready to do something. I am kinda of a shy person I think deep down in side. So if your like me its good to think of your self as tough ready to face anything. This will get your ready to take anything the world has to offer. Or most importantly this will let you try the thing you want. See I think allot of people fear failing. But to let that fear cripple you into not doing anything this is a shame. So tell your self your tough you can do it. Me I used a tiger and the phoenix as a way to visualize my self. This way I am one of the toughest things on earth and if I fail I will just come back new. hahahah But they are also very cool animals so it works for me. But I guess its just important to get your self going after your dreams and that means doing silly things if you have to.

changing roads but better for having visited other paths.

So I decided to go back to my path that I was made for. I enjoyed a break doing something else for a while and I learned a ton. I am a different person for it and I believe that person is a better one. But now I need to start running again full blast. The thought kind of scares me because I need to be fearless I need to be tough and I need to always be right again. I have had some road blocks in my old path of Animation, and they totally took the pep out of my step and sapped my confidence. But now I gotta get mad, get fast and show my teeth again. Let them all know this is mine and always has been. Get ready world this apex predictor is back and is not going to stop.