a little of this and a little of that.

So my main computer needed to restart for an update and I have to make a 3D model which is gonna take a bunch of hours and I don't want to get distracted. So I figured while I wait I would write a short blog. :D I am listening to this song I really enjoy called hummingbird by ID3. Such a fun song. but it is also difficult since I pretty much try and maintain and upbeat feel to my life; emphasis is on try. Although its a very entertaining song it is a little depressing. Which is a little intimidating in a way, because lately I have felt as if I was floating. Totally lacking control, its not something I fear but it is a little uncomfortable. So I have been floating through this weird dream state where I remember my dreams way to well and the events in my dreams put my waking emotions into action. In a way I miss the sun. I should just buy some 100 proof sunscreen and get some.

explanation on why I sound crazy lol.

So I was thinking about doing things. I think in my last blog I wrote about things I see in my minds eyes that I visualize to get my self ready to do something. I am kinda of a shy person I think deep down in side. So if your like me its good to think of your self as tough ready to face anything. This will get your ready to take anything the world has to offer. Or most importantly this will let you try the thing you want. See I think allot of people fear failing. But to let that fear cripple you into not doing anything this is a shame. So tell your self your tough you can do it. Me I used a tiger and the phoenix as a way to visualize my self. This way I am one of the toughest things on earth and if I fail I will just come back new. hahahah But they are also very cool animals so it works for me. But I guess its just important to get your self going after your dreams and that means doing silly things if you have to.

changing roads but better for having visited other paths.

So I decided to go back to my path that I was made for. I enjoyed a break doing something else for a while and I learned a ton. I am a different person for it and I believe that person is a better one. But now I need to start running again full blast. The thought kind of scares me because I need to be fearless I need to be tough and I need to always be right again. I have had some road blocks in my old path of Animation, and they totally took the pep out of my step and sapped my confidence. But now I gotta get mad, get fast and show my teeth again. Let them all know this is mine and always has been. Get ready world this apex predictor is back and is not going to stop.

delirious daydreams.

I'm sick I got the flu or maybe its my body rejecting all the crap thats build up in its self over the years. Not really sure I am on H2O2 and kelp. But this blog is not about this stuff. I want to talk about this song well better yet the hook of a song. its die young by kesha I know I know horrible rap pop. But the hook is very funny and yes that is the Chinese English use of the word funny. Its reminds me innocent times chanced meetings with special someones or even meeting of the eyes of a crush. Right now I am really happy living in my skin. But this hook makes me fell like maybe If I found the right girl. I will meet them moments this song evokes in my memory with open arms. But also I am super happy just being me right now and that's something to celebrate, its been a long work in progress. ^______^ .... I am so going to crash out right now.... I am sick T____T..... "I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums... ohh what a shame that you came here with someone"..... Love that line.

Iodine oh how I love you. ;)

So my favorite element by far is iodine and people totally don't give enough love to the stuff. I mean its great better then gold and allot of stuff.

5 thoughts that have connections to me.

Sparkles thats how I want to start this blog entry, and no sparkles is not a topic I am going to really explore. Its just the word brings images that I want to conger at this moment for no other reason then its beautiful. Plan and simple. Sparkles... I am not sure what to write next. I mean sparkles is pretty amazing. But I feel like writing about something else. I want to write about the thoughts floating in my mind right now. I could not breath really for like a couple of weeks and and I had been in pain. I have asthma and I guess it was worse then I thought it was. So I finally took the meds to get better today and its amazing. How should I explain it? I will just free write for a while with my eyes closed so you can get the idea. The sun is peeking through the clouds in rays of yellow beautiful. as if clouds of pain were measured in liquid but now the rain has come and gone and I am ok. nothing amazing just my own little moment no one would or should really care about. that small emotional stuff you don't tell others because no one really knows your plight and shoes can never really be exchanged. But its one of them moments where you really get to see that life is worth living. Pain is worth navigating, and the journey really is almost as good as the destination. The other day I talked with someone so smart she could taste words. I wish I could do that, the idea is so fascinating. I bet her cerebral cortex much more thicker then most people on earth(not fair). I used to try to grow mine as a kid by concentration lol. I used to do other exercises too. maybe I should start them up again. I have been having very weird dreams lately about talking with animals and shape shifting into them. Very weird stuff about things I have no clue how they connect. And I am pretty good at interpreting dreams but this stuff is just random. One dream my arm changed into a cat arm and a couple night later I turned into a animal. In another dream I could have sworn I felt pain in my dream. But all in all I am good. UPdate!!!!! ohhh I edited this one. I totally read something with my unconscious mind right now. I am listening to the new No Doubt album while I am writing this. Well just the song undone over and over again. But the song after that I realize after I posted this is titled sparkle weird....

the things others cant see but can feel.

Self-image is something I am thinking about right now. The thought conjures up images of things I like associating my self with. Things like Tigers and cats, sheep, the Phoenix, the ram, the bull, angels, and vampires. These things I think about are all associated with my personal story. But, I think the interesting thing is what other people picture for themselves. What type of things do people associate them self's with that is unseen that clashes with the things in me. Do these self projected images some how sneek out and confront others. Like cats don't like dogs. And Maybe out of all of them the cat was the first thing that associated its self with me before I had a choice. Maybe people notice this about me and find disdain in that. The cat is part of me (a whole different story) and I can't change that nor would I even try its who I am. Really makes me wonder. What's in you? Are the things that make me comfortable make you uncomfortable. I think its natural I mean things that I love also drive me crazy. like things that are hanging I just want to rip it down and attack it but then if I do that I cant play with it. Ohhh such weird things them kittens taught me when I was little.