My half was the easy half.

I feel pretty ok with my self about now I am not sure if this a good thing. But I have been looking off into the distance for a little to long this time. not sure if I am looking at a sunset or a sunrise and the thought has a very soft sound to it. Nothing loud or alarming just a very calm attention caller. But with the sound comes other thoughts, thoughts that are long past and gone. But when I find my self looking off into the distance with in the clouds are things I wished I never said. Points in my life where I knew I turned off the lights and shut the door and the door vanished. I think to my self dark thoughts. I think of life changing decisions I have made in my life where I feel I have been lucky I made the right choice. I think of choices people have had to make about me and I wonder if they feel lucky. I have given up on making decisions lately. I keep telling my self its so I can make something of my self but I feel the something I have made of my self lost something along the way. Maybe there were things I picked up along the way. I know some would say I am crazy for looking to the sky for what I am looking for, but I can't help it. So much has came and went and now I feel I have no choice but to wait for the impossible; somehow I am content with the thought. But as I sit here looking off into the sky and waiting to see whats in my minds eye to appear in my physical eyes. I think of whats coming and how my path was the easy half of the journey. I wonder how long before I was born had the journey began. I find comfort in that and forget about the pains of the past and being alone while I wait is not a burden at all.