5 thoughts that have connections to me.

Sparkles thats how I want to start this blog entry, and no sparkles is not a topic I am going to really explore. Its just the word brings images that I want to conger at this moment for no other reason then its beautiful. Plan and simple. Sparkles... I am not sure what to write next. I mean sparkles is pretty amazing. But I feel like writing about something else. I want to write about the thoughts floating in my mind right now. I could not breath really for like a couple of weeks and and I had been in pain. I have asthma and I guess it was worse then I thought it was. So I finally took the meds to get better today and its amazing. How should I explain it? I will just free write for a while with my eyes closed so you can get the idea. The sun is peeking through the clouds in rays of yellow beautiful. as if clouds of pain were measured in liquid but now the rain has come and gone and I am ok. nothing amazing just my own little moment no one would or should really care about. that small emotional stuff you don't tell others because no one really knows your plight and shoes can never really be exchanged. But its one of them moments where you really get to see that life is worth living. Pain is worth navigating, and the journey really is almost as good as the destination. The other day I talked with someone so smart she could taste words. I wish I could do that, the idea is so fascinating. I bet her cerebral cortex much more thicker then most people on earth(not fair). I used to try to grow mine as a kid by concentration lol. I used to do other exercises too. maybe I should start them up again. I have been having very weird dreams lately about talking with animals and shape shifting into them. Very weird stuff about things I have no clue how they connect. And I am pretty good at interpreting dreams but this stuff is just random. One dream my arm changed into a cat arm and a couple night later I turned into a animal. In another dream I could have sworn I felt pain in my dream. But all in all I am good. UPdate!!!!! ohhh I edited this one. I totally read something with my unconscious mind right now. I am listening to the new No Doubt album while I am writing this. Well just the song undone over and over again. But the song after that I realize after I posted this is titled sparkle weird....

the things others cant see but can feel.

Self-image is something I am thinking about right now. The thought conjures up images of things I like associating my self with. Things like Tigers and cats, sheep, the Phoenix, the ram, the bull, angels, and vampires. These things I think about are all associated with my personal story. But, I think the interesting thing is what other people picture for themselves. What type of things do people associate them self's with that is unseen that clashes with the things in me. Do these self projected images some how sneek out and confront others. Like cats don't like dogs. And Maybe out of all of them the cat was the first thing that associated its self with me before I had a choice. Maybe people notice this about me and find disdain in that. The cat is part of me (a whole different story) and I can't change that nor would I even try its who I am. Really makes me wonder. What's in you? Are the things that make me comfortable make you uncomfortable. I think its natural I mean things that I love also drive me crazy. like things that are hanging I just want to rip it down and attack it but then if I do that I cant play with it. Ohhh such weird things them kittens taught me when I was little.