A little brick wall within my mind

I have Been listening to allot of music these past couple of weeks. While listening to music I came across this group I used to like and this reminded me of this song I used to really like so I found it on YouTube and took a listen. In through my headphones came back a life and time long past from my youth. It felt like the aftermath of a punch in stomach that lingering pain that is halfway between sickness and having to cope with the betrayal of the world around you. I remember listening to that one song over and over in my room on a boombox over and over again diving deep into the my self. I would sit there making up my mind on who I would be as a person someday. Someday I'll be happy. Someday I'll be rich. Someday I'll get the hell out of the shit hole. Someday... Like little bricks of a small wall within my mind I pieced together a future in my mind I hoped would come into fulfillment. Then the more I listened I remembered all the pain that came with that part of my life. flashing on and off were all them old memories. Living in the poor parts of a poor urban city. Going to school and keeping quite for years on end just to keep my self from being noticed. Being embarrassed or made fun of. Looking as the girl I was secretly in love with, and how she did not even know I was alive. The moments I spend before bed dreaming of being the hero of some story, and how I always got the girl in the end.